I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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