He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.