she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.