i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?