make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
