dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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