I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
