So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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