laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
