i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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