I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
