i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Are we still banned from the library?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
