I'd wear matching sweaters with you
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
