ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
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