Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
