If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am one with the molecules
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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