just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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