BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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