Nicole vs. Life
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If I had your ass I would rule the world
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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