There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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