apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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