She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize