You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
