Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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