I wish I only lived at night.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
