My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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