There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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