Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
