She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
