Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize