Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.