fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
