Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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