So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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