like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
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I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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