We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
