I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
