wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So much rum. So many feels.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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