carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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