Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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