we're chasing vodka with high fives
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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