I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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