this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
