oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
People in love make me want to vomit
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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