You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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