He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
