Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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