so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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