He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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