If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
