At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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