I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
