I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize