What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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