piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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