one two three fourrrrnication!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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