she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
