I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
