? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
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our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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