I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
