oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
